sniff sniff). I had successfully avoided a full two weeks of frivolty before the great destroyer of will-power arrived: December 5.
Kelly Clarkson was performing in Beaumont on the same day Ree Drummond (Pioneer Woman) would be in Houston. Throw in the fact that there was talk about Sarah Palin being in town for her Going Rogue book signing and it was the triple axis of guilty pleasures.
Ultimately, I reasoned that Pioneer Woman's event was not only local, but free--persuasive elements indeed.
Plus, waiting in line to meet a regular person emerging from a meat locker is a perfectly reasonable way to spend a Saturday afternoon. That couldn't possibly be considered frivolous, I concluded.
During the interview, I was surprised by Ree's high voice, perhaps because I read all of her posts in my sultry contralto. After the short interview, me and 600 of my closest friends awaited our moment with The PW. Since I went to her cookbook signing alone, it opened up the opportunity to meet quite a group of people.
The new friends that won over my heart were Catholic students from LSU who made pilgrimage to Houston. Instead of partying, they spend their weekends testing out PW's recipes, which sounds an awful lot like a BYU activity. Better, three of them were gentlemen who hold true to the idea that they are PW's biggest Man-Fans.
Upon meeting Ree, I desired to say something witty and memorable. After she mentioned how beautiful my little Jonas was, I responded with something equally reminiscent of beauty parlor chit chat like, "Well thank you, he's so beautiful he makes my womb explode." And then she stared at my belly and said, "Whoa!"
He makes my womb explode?
He makes my womb explode?!?!?!
I just meant to convey that he was such a joy and made me want more children. What made me think he makes my womb explode would accomplish this simple task? Or maybe the question should be what made me think my social prowess was developed enough that I could go out in public and meet strangers? Sheesh, I can't imagine what I might say if I met Matt Damon.
You see that uncomfortable smile? It may have something to do with my exploding womb.
In truth, I like my son very much and was already 12 weeks closer to expanding my brood, so it was sort of true. Regardless of truthfulness, there are probably some things you want to keep to yourself. Noted.
The day was salvaged because Jonas decided to hold my hand for the first time. He had empathy for me in my moment of idiocy.
Or perhaps he was just shaken after almost being eaten by a peanut brittle chair. Either way, I'll take it.
At the end, Ree gave out t-shirts to all attendees, even to the scary ones with detonating body parts. I was grateful for her generosity, but mildly disappointed that something so cute and so brown was only available in Medium.