25 January 2010

Exploding Wombs and Such

In November I was patting myself on the back. I had been trying to replace my time-wasting with the weightier matters of heaven (goodbye people.com, sniff sniff). I had successfully avoided a full two weeks of frivolty before the great destroyer of will-power arrived: December 5.

Kelly Clarkson was performing in Beaumont on the same day Ree Drummond (Pioneer Woman) would be in Houston. Throw in the fact that there was talk about Sarah Palin being in town for her Going Rogue book signing and it was the triple axis of guilty pleasures.

Decisions, decisions.

Ultimately, I reasoned that Pioneer Woman's event was not only local, but free--persuasive elements indeed.

Plus, waiting in line to meet a regular person emerging from a meat locker is a perfectly reasonable way to spend a Saturday afternoon. That couldn't possibly be considered frivolous, I concluded.

During the interview, I was surprised by Ree's high voice, perhaps because I read all of her posts in my sultry contralto. After the short interview, me and 600 of my closest friends awaited our moment with The PW. Since I went to her cookbook signing alone, it opened up the opportunity to meet quite a group of people.

The new friends that won over my heart were Catholic students from LSU who made pilgrimage to Houston. Instead of partying, they spend their weekends testing out PW's recipes, which sounds an awful lot like a BYU activity. Better, three of them were gentlemen who hold true to the idea that they are PW's biggest Man-Fans.

Upon meeting Ree, I desired to say something witty and memorable. After she mentioned how beautiful my little Jonas was, I responded with something equally reminiscent of beauty parlor chit chat like, "Well thank you, he's so beautiful he makes my womb explode." And then she stared at my belly and said, "Whoa!"


He makes my womb explode?

He makes my womb explode?!?!?!

I just meant to convey that he was such a joy and made me want more children. What made me think he makes my womb explode would accomplish this simple task? Or maybe the question should be what made me think my social prowess was developed enough that I could go out in public and meet strangers? Sheesh, I can't imagine what I might say if I met Matt Damon.

You see that uncomfortable smile? It may have something to do with my exploding womb.

In truth, I like my son very much and was already 12 weeks closer to expanding my brood, so it was sort of true. Regardless of truthfulness, there are probably some things you want to keep to yourself. Noted.

The day was salvaged because Jonas decided to hold my hand for the first time. He had empathy for me in my moment of idiocy.

Or perhaps he was just shaken after almost being eaten by a peanut brittle chair. Either way, I'll take it.

At the end, Ree gave out t-shirts to all attendees, even to the scary ones with detonating body parts. I was grateful for her generosity, but mildly disappointed that something so cute and so brown was only available in Medium.

But wouldn't you know, Ree's providence prevailed, as medium turned out to be the right choice for a woman needing something to wear to her 20-week ultrasound.


Kali said...

I am eating cereal right now and about choked on it laughing. Thank you for this experience with PW. It was truly hilarious. If you ever do meet Matt Damon I want to be there.. .not to see Matt Damon but to see you;)

I haven't been very good a blog perusing lately and I have totally missed that fact that you are pregnant again. I am so happy for you!! In fact, in light of past posts that I have read of yours, I almost cried.

I hope you have a great day!

Mrs. Ordinary said...

Kali, if Matt Damon ever comes to town, you'll be the first one I invite. Personal humiliation always deserves an audience of someone who appreciates a good laugh :)

And you're not out of the loop; this was my announcement. Thanks for your excitement!

Jennifer said...

I haven't laughed for a very long time. That was the perfect intro back into laughter. Thanks for sharing. Awesome.

Bart and Kellie said...

Yay! Jen I'm so thrilled for you! (and I love your subtle announcements!) Seriously couldn't be more happy for you and can't wait to see another cute little one who makes your womb explode (LOL! Your blog always brightens my morning....) Love you!

Erica Huff said...

Congratulations Jen!! We are very excited for you and hope you are feeling well. Cute announcement!

Kirchner Family said...

Oh my goodness, I am going to have to quit reading your blog at work - because everytime I do I end up laughing like crazy and having to explain it to everyone in the area! You are too cute and great way to announce your pregnancy!

heather said...

Okay, this was a great post for your annoucement. I had to reread it a couple of times to make sure. Congrats!!! So excited for you guys.
Oh and you crack me up. I love that you said that to her.
Actually, I have met Matt Damon. I said something like, "I love your work" like I'm some expert at movie making or something.
Anyway, congrats!!!! So excited for you!

Melissa said...

I am soooo EXCITED for you!! I hope all went well at your ultrasound.

Michelle Judd said...

Congrats! What a funny experience and I bet PW won't forget it anytime soon. :)

*natalie said...

This makes me so happy! Congratulations. I am thrilled for you.

Josh and Jenn Songster said...

I am not going to read your blog anymore because seeing how I am already 34 weeks preggo...I almost peed in my pants...you should know you cant do that to pregnant people!

Awesome way to spill the beans though! :)

vigues said...

Congratulations! I reread the last 10 or so posts, feeling slightly embarressed that I'd missed your pregnancy announcement...then thought i'd check comments to see if this WAS the announcement. I'm slow...but very excited for you! I'm sure the PW had a memorable experience, with talk of anatomical explosions. Not something you hear every day. Up til that point, she was just thinking you were pregnant! At least you made an impression! :)

Kara said...

Sheesh, could you just come out and say it? I had to read about your womb exploding a couple times to see if it was really true. CONGRATS!!! I am so excited for you. Now don't be subtle and share some details.... due date to be one of them :)

Anonymous said...

I too had to read the announcement over about 3 times before I said, "nice one! I get, exploding womb!"

Congrats and may God bless you with a healthy pregnancy. So excited for you and your boys!

love cynthia

Josh, Anne and baby Merrick said...

Tee-hee!!! I can't wait to meet the next "Hunt" baby!!! Seeing already that I can't get enough of Jonas. I'm going to be in big trouble with your next baby, "Cuddle time"! Especially, if it's a Girl and she ends up like you :) Since Jonas and Merrick doesn't want my cuddles anymore.

Stacey @ Tree, Root, and Twig said...

What a clever way to make your announcement, my dear! :) And, honestly, have you heard what PW writes about her sister's new baby? Exploding wombs in nothing. I think she's mentioned wanting to physically consume or inhale that baby, she's so in love with him. :) So there you go - you are just like two peas in a pod! ;)

danje said...

i have been eagerly awaiting this announcement. congratulations dear jennifer! so do you know if jonas will have a bro or sis? all my love and excitement!!!

toby and amy said...

I just found out that you have a blog and now I hear more great news!!! Congratulations! I was starting to wonder, but I am not one to ask! Love ya!!

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Brigette Little said...

I don't know you, but the title of your entry that I saw on a friend's blog inrigued me, so I clicked on it. Thanks for the great laugh - a perfect end to my day. :)

Anonymous said...

Your blog keeps getting better and better! Your older articles are not as good as newer ones you have a lot more creativity and originality now. Keep it up!
And according to this article, I totally agree with your opinion, but only this time! :)

The Richardsons said...

Congrats Jen!!!! Hey and I hope that email you have at the top of your blog is the one you check frequently because I just sent you an invitation to this LDS Health website run by this guy that is amazing. he wrote the books "The Original Fast Foods" and has seriously changed the lives of some good friends of mine. Check it out!

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