27 February 2009

I don't succumb to stress often

so I forgot how those moments are even less glamorous than Charlize Theron in Monster (and since I act like a monster, Patrick was forcefully reminded too).

If you are unfortunate enough to happen across me during one of these episodes, you have two options:
1) Run away
2) Clean my house

These are the only two options that will guarantee you safe passage.

But don't worry, the episode has passed and I look like this again:

Photo Source 1 and 2

24 February 2009

I need running music...or perhaps...who wants to be a dollarinaire?

* Update at bottom

Our stake has a 5k coming up on March 28 and my running partner broke her foot (very sad). I can only last about 2 minutes by myself before my brain begins protesting, repeatedly uttering "This is so boring!" I need running music selections. Any ideas?

You may be asking yourself: In these hard economic times, how will she pay for enough music to run 3.1 miles at her 45min-mile pace?

As payment for the loads of song options you will send me, I will divulge my most profitable money-making secret: YouData

Basically, you click on ads and they pay you for it. Not a lot of money--I'm averaging about $5/month--but enough to keep my iTunes fully stocked. And I only spend about 3 minutes doing it. After 4 months I can buy 20 songs (18 after tithing), which is two albums. That's $100/hour (I just need to find a way to get more hours).

You sign up quickly and don't give any personal identifying information such as name, address, or phone number. You are paid every Friday through PayPal (where you need an account--it's what I use to buy online anyway) and then you can watch the nickels roll in. Just make sure you check (often) if there are additional interest surveys to take--that way they can send you more ads.

Want more info? Check it.

PS I know you're excited. Just don't forget to send along the songs. Many thanks.

*Update: I listen to everything. Indie, emo, punk, rock, classical, rap, hip hop, oldies, 80s, folk, country, pop.... You could send me anything with one exception: Chances are slim that anything chosen by Delilah on one of her "Sappy Love Songs" segments will make me want to Rock My Body the way JT does. But you never know.

We've Moved

We took Jonas to Prince's Burgers for a heart to heart, informing him it was indeed time to leave our bedroom. We explained he is growing so quickly and has demonstrated enough maturity to have a room of his own.

The door to the nursery.

This should be familiar for the tens of you who have followed our blog in the last 8.5 months.

His mobiles.

His wall decorations.

Yes, it's true. We have 3 spare bedrooms and the child is in my closet. He wakes up once a night to eat and I am unwilling to commit to climbing 14 stairs before dawn, which is why he hasn't left the nest earlier. We feel this arrangement is ingenious. Wouldn't you agree?

He looks happy enough to me.

20 February 2009

Mobility on the Horizon

I realized 6 of the last 8 posts had nothing about the little man in my life, so here's one for good measure.

Jonas has finally decided that moving is relatively appealing. He rolls back and forth, inching over to his destination. While he is enjoying the increasing mobility, Jonas has also discovered some of its associated hazards.

Like any faithful mommy blogger, I just snapped pictures while he struggled instead of coming to his aid immediately. I mean, look at that face. I couldn't help it. And for the record, the bag was empty. That should get me a reduced sentence, shouldn't it?

18 February 2009

I Need to Start Paying with Cash

My server wants to be my Facebook friend.

Yes, you read that correctly. My server wants to be my Facebook friend.

As in, my server at the restaurant I ate at last night.

With a girlfriend (and not a husband).

Where the service and food was tip-top (red pepper crab bisque...mouthwatering).

Where I completed the survey (with my name and address) and left a generous tip (with my debit card that also has my name on it).

Because the service and food was tip-top.

Not because I'm on the market.

Because I'm not.

And now Drew wants me to confirm his friend request.

Who's next? The UPS guy? I gave him a muffin when he dropped off my wheat grinder and a box of cookies when he delivered my bottle of eXfuze.

I don't care what Kip says, this technology stuff is getting out of hand.

Maybe I can go back to the rotary phone and pretend Al Gore never invented the internet.

17 February 2009

Distinguishing between needs and wants

I played.

Rules: Google your name + "needs" and record the first 10 things that make sense.

1. Jennifer needs a smack daddy.
2. Jennifer needs to give birth in the next week.
3. Jennifer needs to play by the rules.
4. Jennifer needs a cane.
5. Jennifer needs to accept that she's gained what looks like some major pounds.
6. Jennifer needs your support (probably because of the weight gain).
7. Jennifer needs a shave.
8. Jennifer needs a muzzle.
9. Jennifer needs a mortician.
10. Jennifer needs 2 1/2 cups of sugar to make cookies for 15 people.

1. Patrick needs your help acquiring penicillin.
2. Patrick needs $30K for Irish memorial in Davenport.
3. Patrick needs you.
4. Patrick needs to back progressive tax solutions to state budget woes.
5. Patrick needs more love.
6. Patrick needs advice.
7. Patrick needs to repent.
8. Patrick needs a lint brush.
9. Patrick needs a good home--he has had all his shots-just needs a current rabies.
10. Patrick needs a potty.

1. Jonas needs a few stitches after cutting head in fall.
2. Jonas needs braces (maybe they will help his teeth come in).
3. Jonas needs to cut his hair.
4. Jonas needs you more than ever.
5. Jonas needs shaving lessons.
6. Jonas needs new pants.
7. Jonas needs to sing.
8. Jonas needs ur help.
9. Jonas needs to learn how to say "frog" on Vimeo.
10. Jonas needs more camera time.

Apparently we are never satisfied.

14 February 2009

Happy Valentine's Day

(PS I entered these in our ward's creative cake contest and won a prize! I'm not sure which honor was bestowed upon them, but I do know we received two free tickets to the cinema)

12 February 2009

It's official.

Jonas went in for his flu booster and he has officially fallen off the growth chart at 16 pounds (8 months). If he makes it to a bulky 17 pounds in the next day or two, he will be somewhere between percentile 5-10.

Could his slow growth have anything to do with the fact that...
* he hates fruit?
* he hardly eats solids?
* he is allergic to rice (even though he is a quarter Asian--now what will he eat at Thanksgiving?)?
* he is addicted to nursing?
* he will not take a bottle (even if it is leche de mamá)?
* he *could/should* be eating 2.5 packs of baby food per day...and it takes him 4 days to get through a solitary container?
* he only eats oatmeal when he is kind enough to take a few spoonfuls?

And where does he get that double chin?

It couldn't possibly be genetic.

Maybe he carries all 16 pounds in his face (this was the result of a sad attempt to get a couple minutes to clean out the kitchen cabinets. I finally succumbed to the temptations of Baby Einstein, where it clearly sucked out the soul of my child. You see that dead look in his eyes? He's learning all about da Vinci. Riveting, isn't it? He only lasted 6 minutes before he was thoroughly unentertained).

Here's our midget blowing bubbles and refusing nourishment.

11 February 2009

Consider Viewing Survivor Tonight

**UPDATE included**

Did anyone else realize Survivor is on Season 18? How is it that I've never seen a single episode? My 18-season streak is coming to an end tonight though. Not only does it take place in Brasil, but more importantly, our friend Tyson Apostol is a contestant. So if you can give up your Kath&Kim, The Office, or 30 Rock, head on over to CBS to take in a little bit of Tocantins. I know that's where I'll be tonight (and possibly other Thursday nights, depending on what holds out longer--Tyson or my attention span).

*Warning: given that 1) it is reality TV and 2) it is Tyson, there is a reasonable chance you may be offended.

**UPDATE: No chance about it...you will be offended**

Below is the CBS bio as well as his promotional video.

Witty, charming and arrogant is how Tyson Apostol describes himself. This former pro-cyclist and swimmer believes that his natural athleticism, combined with his “life of the party” personality, will get him far in he game. His favorite movie is “The Jerk” and that’s how some people just might describe him.

He compares his game strategy to that of some of the most entertaining castaways to ever play the game. Much like them, he is willing to do almost anything to win one million dollars, including implementing the use of lies and deceit to feed off the “emotional weakness” of the other castaways. A Brigham Young University drop-out, he is actually very well traveled and skilled in street smarts, previously spending two years in the Philippines as a Mormon missionary, in addition to six years as a cyclist in Switzerland, Belgium and Austria.

In many ways Tyson can be brash, egotistical and unapologetic but, oddly enough, he has no tolerance for “know-it-alls” or individuals who lack common courtesy. In addition to, as he describes it, “looking awesome,” his favorite hobbies are exercising and sunbathing. If he becomes the next sole SURVIVOR, he plans to use all of the money for selfish purposes, starting with “the most smoking motorcycle around.”

Tyson currently resides in Heber City, Utah and his birthday is June 17.

Monkeying Around

Now if we could just get our hands on some cymbals and a vest...

I'm in love, I'm in love and I don't care who knows it

Merry Christmas to me.

(PS If you have a WonderMill purchase planned in the near future, the lowest possible advertised price (as dictated by the company) is $239.95, but is going up to $259.95 on Sunday. You can order it here for free shipping at the lower price through Saturday).

06 February 2009

200 Haves and Have Nots

I completed this post in August, but never hit publish. Mostly, I found the survey enjoyable and recognized it could be a key resource in beginning my personal history. Each little bolded item carries an anecdote with it, most of which brought a little smile to my face. When Haylie posted a similar list (half the length) today, I thought that in conjunction with the 25-Things craze going around Facebook (what, you're on Facebook and reading my blog and aren't friends with me? Why not?), this would be a decent, rather lengthy, alternative.

Journaling this list was also part of my 101 Things to Do in 1,001 Days. Oh, you thought I forgot? Oh no, I sure didn't. In fact, the list is slowly dwindling and I'm pumped about how much fun it has been to complete. Hopefully I'll get a few of the journals posted here soon. Heather does a fun Flashback Friday each week...perhaps I will follow in her footsteps.

* Bolded items are my Haves. I'm working on the Have Nots.

200 Have and Have Nots
1. Touched an iceberg
2. Slept under the stars
3. Been a part of a hockey fight (Does neighborhood street hockey count?
4. Changed a baby’s diaper
5. Watched a meteor shower
6. Given more than you can afford to charity

7. Swam with wild dolphins
8. Climbed a mountain
9. Held a tarantula
10. Said “I love you” and meant it

11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea
14. Stayed up all night long and watched the sun rise
15. Seen the Northern Lights
16. Gone to a huge sports game
17. Walked the stairs to the top of the Statue of Liberty
18. Grown and eaten your own vegetables
19. Looked up at the night sky through a telescope
20. Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment
21. Had a pillow fight

22. Bet on a winning horse
23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill
24. Built a snow fort
25. Held a lamb
26. Gone skinny dipping
27. Taken an ice cold bath

28. Had a meaningful conversation with a beggar
29. Seen a total eclipse
30. Ridden a roller coaster
31. Hit a home run
32. Danced like a fool and not cared who was looking
33. Adopted an accent for fun
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
35. Felt very happy about your life, even for just a moment
36. Loved your job 90% of the time
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied

38. Watched wild whales
39. Gone rock climbing
40. Gone on a midnight walk on the beach

41. Gone sky diving
42. Visited Ireland
43. Ever bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
44. Visited India
45. Bench-pressed your own weight
46. Milked a cow
47. Alphabetized your personal files
48. Ever worn a superhero costume
49. Sung karaoke
50. Lounged around in bed all day

51. Gone scuba diving
52. Kissed in the rain
53. Played in the mud

54. Gone to a drive-in theater
55. Done something you should regret, but don’t
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business
58. Taken a martial arts class
59. Been in a movie
60. Gone without food for 3 days
61. Made cookies from scratch
62. Won first prize in a costume contest
63. Got flowers for no reason

64. Been in a combat zone
65. Spoken more than one language
66. Gotten into a fight while attempting to defend someone
67. Bounced a check
68. Read - and understood - your credit report

69. Recently bought and played with a favorite childhood toy
70. Found out something significant that your ancestors did
71. Called or written your Congress person
72. Picked up and moved to another city to just start over
73. Walked the Golden Gate Bridge

74. Helped an animal give birth
75. Been fired or laid off from a job
76. Won money
77. Broken a bone
78. Ridden a motorcycle
79. Driven any land vehicle at a speed of greater than 100 mph
80. Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon
81. Slept through an entire flight: takeoff, flight, and landing
82. Taken a canoe trip that lasted more than 2 days
83. Eaten sushi
84. Had your picture in the newspaper

85. Read The Bible cover to cover
86. Changed someone’s mind about something you care deeply about
87. Gotten someone fired for their actions
88. Gone back to school
89. Changed your name
90. Caught a fly in the air with your bare hands

91. Eaten fried green tomatoes
92. Read The Iliad
93. Taught yourself an art from scratch
94. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
95. Apologized to someone years after inflicting the hurt
96. Communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language

97. Been elected to public office
98. Thought to yourself that you’re living your dream
99. Had to put someone you love into hospice care
100. Sold your own artwork to someone who didn’t know you
101. Had a booth at a street fair
102. Dyed your hair
103. Been a DJ
104. Rocked a baby to sleep
105. Ever dropped a cat from a high place to see if it really lands on all four
106. Raked your carpet
107. Brought out the best in people
108. Brought out the worst in people
109. Worn a mood ring
110. Ridden a horse
111. Carved an animal from a piece of wood or bar of soap

112. Cooked a dish where four people asked for the recipe (Mom's eggrolls)
113. Buried a child
114. Gone to a Broadway
115. Been inside the pyramids
116. Shot a basketball into a basket
117. Danced at a disco
118. Played in a band
119. Killed a bird
120. Gone to an arboretum
121. Tutored someone
122. Ridden a train
123. Brought an old fad back into style
124. Eaten caviar
125. Let a salesman talk you into something you didn’t need
126. Ridden a giraffe or elephant
127. Published a book
128. Pieced a quilt
129. Lived in an historic place
130. Acted in a play or performed on a stage
131. Asked for a raise
132. Made a hole-in-one
133. Gone deep sea fishing
134. Gone roller skating
135. Run a marathon
136. Learned to surf
137. Invented something
138. Flown first class
139. Spent the night in a 5-star luxury suite
140. Flown in a helicopter
141. Visited Africa
142. Sang a solo
143. Gone spelunking
144. Learned how to take a compliment
145. Written a love-story
146. Seen Michelangelo’s David
147. Had your portrait painted
148. Written a fan letter--Arnold Schwarzeneger--ha!
149. Spent the night in something haunted
150. Owned a St. Bernard or Great Dane
151. Ran away
152. Learned to juggle
153. Been a boss
154. Sat on a jury
155. Lied about your weight
156. Gone on a diet
157. Found an arrowhead or a gold nugget
158. Written a poem
159. Carried your lunch in a lunchbox

160. Gotten food poisoning
161. Gone on a service, humanitarian or religious mission
162. Hiked the Grand Canyon
163. Sat on a park bench and fed the ducks
164. Gone to the opera
165. Gotten a letter from someone famous

166. Worn knickers
167. Ridden in a limousine
168. Attended the Olympics
169. Can hula or waltz
170. Read a half dozen Nancy Drew or Hardy Boys books
171. Been stuck in an elevator
172. Had a revelatory dream

173. Thought you might crash in an airplane
174. Had a song dedicated to you on the radio or at a concert
175. Saved someone’s life
176. Eaten raw whale
177. Know how to tat, smock or do needlepoint
178. Laughed till your side hurt
179. Straddled the equator
180. Taken a photograph of something other than people that is worth framing
181. Gone to a Shakespeare Festival

182. Sent a message in a bottle
183. Spent the night in a hostel
184. Been a cashier
185. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
186. Joined a union
187. Donated blood or plasma
188. Built a campfire
189. Kept a blog
190. Had hives

191. Worn custom made shoes or boots
192. Made a PowerPoint presentation
193. Taken a Hunter’s Safety Course
194. Served at a soup kitchen
195. Conquered the Rubik’s cube
196. Know CPR
197. Ridden in or owned a convertible
198. Found a long lost friend

199. Helped solve a crime
200. Been crowd-surfing

I miss Europe in a bad way

That is one continent that has never underestimated the inherent value of the bidet.

05 February 2009

I'm wavering

between self-pity and son-pity.

The point of exhaustion is not typically within my reach, but I'm toeing the line this week.

The little man cries. A lot. When he refrains, it is usually to make a liar out of me as he is so enthralled with crowded places that he forgets his discomfort for a few moments--just enough time for everyone to say, "You have such a good baby!" and for me to smile graciously.

He has had one cryless day (hallelujah) in two weeks, with the remaining days being full of activities such as sickness and teething and boredom and food-refusing.

Yesterday: no naps. The norm around here is three. He woke up every 30-45 minutes the night before (with a 2-hour snooze snuck in there, thankfully), so my day started at 4:30 am, after having been up for the previous 30 hours (minus said snooze). I don't know if that number is accurate, but my mind has debilitated far too much to challenge or verify it with simple arithmetic.

Today: Naps aren't happening.

When he starts crying...
...my inside says, "You've been crying for 8 months straight. Aren't you ready for a little variety?"

...my outside takes a deep breath, sighs, and closes her eyes for a full 4 seconds.

...my inside then says, "He probably feels worse than I do. I'm sitting here complaining that he won't stop crying, but he is probably crying because I haven't given him what he wants/needs"

...my outside then says, "I know you're feeling so bad sweetie, come here" as a snuggle him to me and rub his forehead.

Then comes nap time.

My heart breaks as he unsuccessfully attempts to sleep. His body eventually surrenders to a fitful 10 minutes of rest after a good dose of Orajel, only to wake up again when the numbing agent wears off.

When he wakes up...

...my inside says, "But I haven't even peed yet."

...my outside takes a deep breath, sighs, and closes her eyes for a full 4 seconds.

...my inside then says, "Perhaps Baby Sign will work. Wait, he's not even coordinated enough to bend his arm to get a teething ring in his mouth."

...my outside then takes a deep breath, sighs, and closes her eyes for a full 4 seconds.

...my inside then says, "Remember how bad you felt last week when you were sick? How you just wanted to be cuddled and you couldn't sleep or breathe properly? How you were miserable and you didn't care who knew it? Yeah. Same thing. And if you were 100% again, this would be a piece of cake so buck up."

...my outside then says, "I know you're feeling so bad sweetie, come here" as a snuggle him to me and rub his forehead.

You see my inner conflict here?

I don't need a "hang in there" or a pity party (which always makes me feel worse). I just need a reminder.

Ah yes, there it is.

That's better. Not all better. But better.

03 February 2009

Crockpot Carnival

Meet Karen. She is the one on the right and is awesome for so many reasons.

Today's Karen tribute focuses on her newest brainchild: 365 Days of Crockpot.

This ubermotivated woman committed to using her slow cooker every single day for an entire year. She is also graciously posting all the recipes and chronicling her journey for the rest of us to celebrate her successes and mourn her losses. And since she places an extremely high value on nutrition and exercise (after all, she helped people get healthy at UVSC for many years before having her first baby) you know you won't be injecting your arteries with HeartKill.

So if you or anyone you know ever gets hungry, check out one of the most exciting sites in the entire blogosphere ASAP (It's only Day 8, so you won't feel like you missed out).

If you place a link on your own personal blog, write a post about this great site, and comment right here by Monday Feb 9, she will enter you in a drawing to win your very own cookbook full of slow cooker recipes.

Go to the site. You'll be glad you did.

02 February 2009

Oh Happy Day

Now that Jonas is finished with his 200 picture travelogue, on to our celebratory news

1. Blessing Day for beautiful Libby
2. Birthday for cutie twins Elias and Malachi
3. Groundhog Day (6 more weeks of winter--I never thought this would be a joyous occasion until I moved to Houston)
4. Anniversary Day (1 year) for Greg and Talese
5. Birthday for Jonas (8 months)

February is looking good.

Extended Vacay: Leg 5 (Final)

5 Posts for 5 Weeks. It was a great trip, but I'm glad to be home.

Once we got back to Cedar City, I got to meet Mama's roommate Kristi, who both shared a cameo in one of Drew's earlier videos
Pretty self-explanatory, I think

I got sick :(
Conner showed up with all of his clothes on backwards
including his undies
Grandma played with me while Mom watched all those girly movies Daddy would never want to watch (Honey, What a Girl Wants, The Women)

And Mommy and Tiara went to see Bride Wars together while I stayed home and played
I kept getting my feet stuck in the crib slats
So I eventually got to sleep with Mommy (which has meant that my sleeping has been quite off schedule since my return to Houston)
I decided to give up all solids after 3 weeks of eating like a champ, but decided that I would eat a few bites with Grandma. I'm still having trouble with wanting anything but milk...
I said a final good-bye to Uncle Michael in St. George and Mommy said a final goodbye to Cafe Rio
Isn't the contrast between red and white lovely?
I hopped on two planes--one tiny one in Cedar City and a second in Salt Lake

And then I finally got to see my Daddy after 3 long weeks!

The End.